On the other hand when where home our out she only wants me and nothing to do with her father. I have a 3 year old with whom I am going through a very same problem and I am having a really tough time with it. Please, ask for help. i feel sad and discouraged i know that i shouldnt show it to her.. but i often wonder where i went wrong. So, yes, absolutely discuss how you can help each other more. And you know what? bottomline she just wanted my husband.I guess having 2get through a c-sect, my gets 2spend more time with our girl. First, identify why your baby might be refusing the bottle. He cant be without her for even a minute. And hug your wife. Can you please help? Adjusting to this new life will take time and you can't expect to nail it right out of the gate. youre missing out, and so is your baby. Since about 3 months old she prefers daddy over mommy but now it is to the point where she tells me I dont love you I love my daddy. She pushes me away and wants nothing to do with me. I sometimes wish that I could die and I admit that there are times when I have seen all my competitors as my enemies and I wanted to hurt my own child out of jealousy..But then I would never do that..My relationship with my husband and his family is degrading day by day..And I regret having married him at all even though he is the best husband and dad ever..I dont know what is happening to me!! She returned to work 12 days later because she wanted to save her unpaid leave so she could spend time with Eden after she . No matter what I do, she still wants me. But, I do know I cant wallow. Try to reach out to your mom and ask for her help. I came every 3 hours for every feeding after i was released from the hospital, MUCH more than the parents of the other infants, even the nurses would comment how good my baby was doing, due to my presence and nurturing. My dad says its because she can feel who really loves her. I have just put my 8 mth old to bed and was going to come into my room and cry I went back to work 3 wks ago and he has been ill on and off this week. At 12 mos the situation was improved. At around 3 to 5 years of age, children tend to become very attached to the parent of opposite gender. Stroke baby, talk to baby. But early nappers are often cranky during the hour that precedes bedtime the very hour that you arrive home from work. Tonight is especially bad, he pushed me aside to get to my mom. Paula. My baby was very attached to me but now she doesnt love me at all, she only wants my mother, she even calls her mama and she doesnt call me anything, she only wants to be with her , when she is sick or not sick, when she is sleepy etc She cries when my mom goes out and when my mom comes home she gets very happy and runs to her, i have cried every night for the past 2 weeks it hurts me so bad to see her not loving me, on the weekends i go out with her alone trying to spend more time with her, but its doesnt work at all!!!! It is especially hard since i am a very affectionate and loving person my 3 year old son is very affectionate and is always hugging and kissing me? Its my first baby and this hurts sooo much inside seeing it happen everyday. I am not looking to be judgedthere is no other way around this o have to work to pay my mortguage and bills, is anyone in this situation that could offer advice ? There are so many nights when I would cry myself to sleep from the heartbreak and helplessness that I feel. Take heart, dear parents. Also get yourself a baby sling and carry her around as much as you can while running around. Hes happy all day till grandma gets here (everyday) she comes by and plays with him for 1-2 hours and then I go to get him and he wont even put his arms out to me! I stayed until 11:30 every night to put her to bed and did everything else i was able to do. I had him when I was 38 yrs old and have been a hands on mum all his life. I was nothing more than a pain in the ass to her. Feed your milk to your baby. Now a days she refuses my breast feeding. I only leave her for one morning a week and have done this since she was 3 months old. Personally, I think reading books about child development and how to help your child in life can be very rewarding both to help one as a parent with becoming more confident and also to find ways to be able to discuss how to raise a child without it becoming angry or sensitive. You ask about the girl not wanting to talk to mom on the phone. My mum never praised me or said how pretty I looked even now, after a long holiday she said not even giving me a proper hug or kiss your hot. At least I say to my baby boy that I love him that am proud of him. . Thanks. Help . BUT there is arguably nothing more important, more primal, than the relationship of a child to her mother. I have 7 month old baby girl and she is not at all attached to me. His dad loves him but truly has done 15% of all that I do for the baby (feed, clean, entertain, It is great that they help you out, so that you can finish school, but the situation with your daughter is obviously breaking your heart. Mine is something similar. Im assuming this is not the case with you, obviously. Ive spent a fortune on psychotherapy and self- help groups, and I still suffer. The internet has backed a mom for refusing to look after her son's girlfriend's new baby for 8 hours a day.. Seems to be a bit of a pattern in the posts that I have read from you all. Here is the good news: you are not alone. My 9-month-old daughter has started recently. Since leaving home 2 go 2 Asia when our baby was 7 months, our internet routine continued. Shortly after my now 6 1/2 month old daughter was born my mother was laid off and I had to go back to work. I often feel that I could leave any day, never to return and my daughter would never notice. And I really felt that it started to work almost immediately. dont get me wrong, she just doesnt seem to have any kind of attachment to me at all.it makes me feel worthlesssomeone replaceableis this something that will pass, or should I talk to her doctor? Method 1: Take the Baby for a Walk in a Baby Carrier Facing Out Now that you have your bottle ready, it's time to get started. I am considering changing our living situation for various reasons but namely to see if it makes a difference with my relationship with my son. Your toddler has been used to having mom all to themselves. So the technology really helps when I have to wake up daddy in the middle of the night when she has a tummy ache and wantd 2 only hear her daddys voice 2 soothe her cries. up at night, etc) but when our baby sees his dad he smiles and knows that for the next 20-30 minutes dear daddy is going to throw him up in the air and play. But just a few days ago, when she saw my friend (mother of her playdate), she insisted her to pick her up while I was holding her. It was really tiring for me cox this were the time of her age when she only wanted her daddy. If I am not around she is fine with her mom to an extent but still keeps pestering her mom wanting dad to come home and do things. Just ask her to really try not to show her emotions to your daughter, but rather focus on having a good time with her when you are not around that will certainly build on their relationship for the coming years. My daughter prefers my mother, as she looks after her while Im at college. Please help me to know what is the problem? I had the same reaction from my baby girl. Not that I know who to be cross with anyway.Ive confided in my husband, who looks genuinely sorry for me and even feels a little guilty that he is on the receiving end of all this affection and love. this week she turned 9 months and she has somehow attached herself to my mom. Peek-a-boo. There is simply no replacement for a mother, period. Am a single mum living with my parents. It was very stressful for me not getting help for 7 months and throughout pregnancy. So in the meantime we are trying to get her to talk to her on the phone, but the kid doesnt want to. I am drained to the point where I Paula, I saw in other posts you said 8 and 9 months are very sensitive times Will you please explain what you mean? My daughter is constantly wanting my attention and is not happy when im not around. My mom stayed with me for the first four months to help me out. I work 6 days a week an Im home at nights but when he sees me he wont come to me and when I pick him up he throws his head back an starts to kick an screaming an he either runs to his mom or anyone else an its really killing me inside an it makes me feel he doesnt want me but like everybody else Im the only one that can put him to sleep an calm him down but its just hurts me that he doesnt want to be around me my heart is broken I been told it was a phase but I dont know bout that What can I do to want him to want me? The child speaks to everyone on the phone but once she hears its her mother she goes hysterical. If she wants help then she should take her to day care then then she will start to understand the women picking her up is her mother. Trust me, I feel it too now and then and husband even more, who has been the one NOT chosen especially by our youngest. no more crying out 2 daddy when she has a tummy ache.and she hasbecome so excited whn i come home frm work.My husband and I lives in a different continent due to the nature of my work, and he wd come to stay wt us 2-3 times a year at around 5 weeks to 2 months a time.So whn he left for Asia when our baby is 2 months old, we established a routine using the internet via webcam and video calls every single day. When daddy is the bored or tired of this the he conveniently disappears and I take over. And I swear to g-d it feels like hes being a jerk on purpose sometimes. Though it is nice to know Im not the only one to suffer from a similar situation, it doesnt solve it. Let's go for a stroll! I dont know what to do. knowing or hoping that there is an end in sight gives me great joy. The study found 17 percent of women experienced anxiety. because everytime she turns away from me or will not smile at me i feel like my heart just breaks tears often threaten to spill. When I think about it, it really is a good thing that she loves her daycare. Quote #4. Cared for her, loved her, played with her, etc. She doesnt want me at all, except whn she needed 2have milk. To help us both my Mom moved in and now stays home with my daughter while I work. I'm very upset that she is rejecting the bottle. Adjustment takes time. And then I would try to get busy with something else and just basically not make a bigger deal than it already was for me. But Im not so sure now, I think my daughter doesnt know Im her mother. And even use the same child care you plan to use when you go back to work, if possible. My partner thinks Im being ridiculous, but thats easy for the preferred parent to think, Im sure. Im very concerned about you. With more time spent doing other things (or doing nothing), you are more likely to be able to stay calm, be patient and so one when she is putting up a fight. When I pick her up from her caregivers house after work, I am so excited because I count down the minutes until I see my precious baby only to get her in my arms and have her reach out for her caregiver. But you say that you gave up on her. Im often doing something else at the same time as interacting with them. Fellow mommy Im very concerned about you. Pennsylvania mom Rebecca Shumard gave birth to daughter Eden at 27 weeks. Should I try to get my husband to do more of those things when possible, or will that just lessen the bond between my daughter and me even more?? Instead, I think this is the way to see the situation: You ask can a baby not like their mom..? I just wanted to tell the parents here that this has nothing to do with your work or parenting style. i try to spend the most of my time with her but maybe its not enough, i wish i knew where i went wrong. Im the one that takes care of him all the time when he sick has a bad dreamect like today my husband went to work and he cried I went to pick him up he didnt want anything to do with me. Cafemom wanted a detailed truth about returning to work after having a baby. Any idiot can get pregnant but being a loving mother is something entirely different. Our song hs never stoppd being sung even my hsband ws around. I couldnt see it coming and this is my first child, I love him very much, but this reaction I get from him is very unpleasant and hurtful to me. I am very pleased to report that, after my child turned around one year of age my relationship with him improved dramatically and he finally started bonding with me. thank you to anonymous who wrote most recently saying that it has gotten better. Babies dont put anything extra in a certain word compared to another. I do each and every work for her. A very sleepy baby may accept a bottle without even realizing it, so if your baby's resisting, try slipping in that target near the end of a nap, when she's still half asleep. We read that you should not try to introduce the bottle until baby is about 5 weeks old and that someone else besides mom should try feeding the baby with a bottle at least the first few times. A stock image of a woman waving goodbye to her son and a small child. I say with us because me and her father are engaged and living together. Lessons to Learn From the Above Quote. help please!!! and youre doing the right thing. Acknowledge your feelings without judgment, and then cry, laugh, journal or call a friend. Awaken his interest by laying down on the floor and playing with his toys, start kicking a ball, or whatever will catch his interest. Seems it starts around this age. grandma was kinda showin me the ropes and showin me some tricksi also do alot of running around during the day so grandma watches her.now, when i have her and she gets upset she screams for mme. That way, you will keep making enough milk and will be less likely to get plugged ducts or engorged breasts. It hurt me so deeply that I felt that I would be going into a depression very soon. At the moment we are living in India with my husband and his parent, my son seems to be attached to them more than me. In ramping up to retuning to work after a parental leave . Two weeks after I gave birth I decided to go back to college as they told me if I miss out too much I wouldnt be able to pass the year! Especially when you have a insane father constantly making complaints and accusations your way just to get the child from you. Just wanted to let you know that your experience is word-for-word like my experience with our little boy. should i just let her be with whoever she wants to be with? 1. I do the same, care, dress, cook, feed, bottle. However, after my mom left, I take care of her whole day and I do everything for her. I try to fix this by not responding to the kid and shouting at her and show her that I am bad. The most common reason a baby would begin to reject the breast after receiving a bottle is that the bottle was an easier route to take. Thank you for letting us know that things got better, it has made all the difference to me. Even the same morning, she wanted to be with me and when she woke up from her nap, she did not want me around. In my observation some babies who dont do this have mothers who dont hold them a lot and are less responsive but not always. Maybe I will have better luck with a second kid. At the same time, he prefers his moms presence and shows it. Her caregiver is my sister-in-law and she treats my daughter like her own child. I want her to love me again! Sigh. Hopefully Ill be able to post later and say that things are different. Even for biological parents, bonding is something that happens over time. Use a different bottle or nipple flow 6. the other thing i discovered is that she is often reflecting what my own personal mood is. As you say, youre the one who has been there for her all her life and still is in many ways, and now youre suddenly gone much more. I know it is hard and scary and painful after many months of being pregnant and then being everything for a child. I play with him when all I want to do watch TV or take some time to myself. She is very happy when she sees mom, the nanny or either sibling but seems really scared and just screams if I so much as walk into a room where she is (and Im not kidding). It may take a few tries for that method to work. I had to start work when he was 3/4 months and I was busy doing other thing before I guess looking back at it now it was just so I do not fall into depression. My partner goes away and when I am on my own we have a perfect routine and daddy comes home, she hits me and pushes me away. He does, I know. Is there anything i can do to help them bond? Lots of hugs and squeezes, even when she is wriggling and squirming. Mom's Question: Within less than a year, she will be crawling all over the place and you will have to look for her when she is out discovering the world. I love my child more than anything in the world and I hope that she knows it. i relly need some advise before i go crazy please :(. I am so sad. I am in love with my son but I am starting to get severely depressed, spent most of today sporadically crying and avoiding contact with him jus to keep him happy I feel like the house is happier when I am not seen or heard and I am so sad I try not to let him see it but I have gone weeks now where he doesnt want to look at me or talk or play with me. Im very hurt and try not let it get to me but its hard. especially when im there , but when im not around they seem to get along very well. She is almost 10 months old. she is taken care by my husbands mother . You may be feeling a range of emotions about being away from your baby, all while getting used to a new daily routine that might involve busier mornings, daycare drop . What he really needs might be to have more fun and more time with his dad. It has been 37 years and we are not close. Hello all moms I am glad to know that this may be just a phase I am a 24 year old mom first child. Doesnt really explain the fact hes always preferred her since he was born. I have an 8 month old daughter. It is so important that you separate this! I dont want this to have any lasting affects on our long term relationship. And a good and warm relationship between you and your daughter will benefit all of you. i am a younger mother who still lives with my mother. He always trying to get daddys attention instead. Honestly I couldnt really handle it for the 8 or 9 months or however long it lasted for me. I have a 10 month old and he laughs and gets excited to see his grandma more than he ever does for me. But when she is sick, she comes running to mommy to give her medicine and take here to the doctors. This cookbook contains about 200 recipes and photos of how to make delicious meals easily and quickly. Best of luck. Please dont give up. I feel like she associates me with all things bad (i.e. Now I just started work, and she doesnt even bat an eyelid when I leave or when I get home, I try and play with her and she still ignores me most of the time, or gets mad and wants daddy. He didnt want to talk to his dad when he was with his mom either. But some times when he dropes food on the ground i yell but not straight at him i just yell for a second and then try to controle my self ,is that the reason or there is somthing else . I made a point to kiss him and cheerfully say things like Oh, you want to play with Dadda? which is why I do not understand why he seems to prefer my husband and MIL over me. Ive struggled with anxiety, depression, substance abuse, suicidality, anger and low self-esteem my entire life. I am a dad in the same boat. Allow a drip or two go into your baby's mouth, then try to insert the bottle nipple into your baby's mouth. But she preferred to be cuddled by my mom instead. Can a baby NOT like their mom? My mom watches her while I work, and she seems to be more attached to my mom. Please help me!! after wrk wen she sees me she clings on her granny . Now he is 22 months and everything has reversed I can see the love I so much needed to see reflected in his eyes and I know he needs and appreciates me. I work very part time 3 days a week for a total of 16 hours. Reading the entries and knowing that others are going through the same thing somehow makes me feel a little better. I have no idea what to do I play with her, I am the person that teaches her everything she knows, I am the one who gets up in the night to comfort her, I am the one preparing food and doing all the motherly things that need doing cuddling and playing but she still doesnt want me most of the time. I thoguht maybe I didnt give her enough love because I was so busy trying to get her into a routine. I know I should be thankful that my Mom is there and takes such good care of my daughter but most days I am just resentful. Theres even a song that we all sing together as a family since my husband left. When my daughter was 7 months old I left for bootcamp, kind of my last resort I was a teen mom and couldnt get a job and had no money and the military provided us a secure future, but now I regret it. I have a step-son myself, and even though his mom is great, he absolutely did not want to talk to her on the phone when he was little. (cross-post with Working Moms) I go back to work in a week and my 2.5 month old daughter refuses to take bottles. Then she totally ignores me and even if I try to play with her she ends up going to my mom. However, my daughter seems to want nothing to do with me. I work full time and my one-year-old goes to daycare 3 days per week and stays at home with her dad 2 days per week. A couple of things helped: 1) we play her favorite music at very loud volume during the feeding to distract her, 2) we make sure to feed her before she gets very hungry so that she is still in a good mood, 3) we make sure my husband, the caregiver, always gives her the bottle, and 4) we keep trying at different times if she doesn't take the If your baby is younger than one year, even if she seems to be losing interest in breastfeeding, chances are she is not yet ready to wean. The situation must be painful for you. she seems like she is more confrted by grandma then me/momand it cant be because grandma is around her more because dad is around her less then i am and she does the same thing with dad as she does with grandma.she seems conferted by them and not me.so is it possible, she thinks grandma is mom??? This is the age when separation anxiety and stranger anxiety may come in full force. He cant even get close to here with a crying. I would actually bet on the second explanation, since you write that you did build a strong bond with her during her first 6 months. May God help us all. She is the GRANDmother, not the mother. I used to adore my parents to death. Please help! But she adores my husband (and he hardly spends any time with her at all). My daughter is now almost 10 months old and cries even when I walk by. In 2019, the labor force participation rate for women was 57.4%, compared with 69.2% for men, according to data from the U.S. Bureau of Labor Statistics (BLS). Best of luck. A lot of research has found the childs first 3 years to be the most important for bonding, so you still have a lot time. Here you go honey!. This can of course be very tough on the other parent, especially for someone who is used to be the preferred one. Not a good feeling. Just being honest with you. Most nursing strikes are over, with the baby back to breastfeeding, within two to four days. Not an easy task as my parents DID love me conditionally. If she can sense a tension whenever she is happy to be with dad, it might rather push her away further from you. He will go to Nursery without a second glance and to any family or friend without so much as a look of concern over to me. I am thankful that my MIL is there to help us out. A wonderful thing to do in periods like this, is to spend time alone with the child. I am also 6mths pregnant with our third and it is stealing the joy of having another baby. She was a real daddys girl up to about 3 months ago. Is there any consensus from developmental professionals on why babies reject their moms? Just recently he has started clinging to Daddy again, and I noticed that it was coinciding with feeling quite homesick (I live abroad, far away from my parents and siblings). they will be happy, more emotionally-healthy adults because of the love we giveeven if they seem to ignore it now, they need us. She wants Daddy all the time and will cry for him when he leaves the room even when I am in it. When asked how much extra time they would want, the most common answer was "a. When my husband comes home she runs to greet him. Hi me too but my baby is only 4 months old. Give him a bah, feed him, put him to bed, give him his breakfast, get him dressed, take him out in his pram and do not take no for an answer or it will get worse. Place baby on mom's tummy, in the water. Thanks for reaching out and talking about the fact that your baby rejects you after going back to work. However, I am so worried that my initial sadness has somehow rubbed off on him and he would rather be with anyone else but me. Your girls are now 8 months old. Continue to do things alone with your boy that is an excellent way to maintain a good relationship even when he has become an older kid, teenager and adult. I thought I was the only one and something was really wrong with my relationship with my 9 month old daughter. my love for her isnt based on her feelings for meeven though reciprocation would be nice. As there are lots of conflicting priorities, it is hard to say when it is the right time. Try the sleep and switch. Its the worst feeling in the world that, after a 13 hour work day, I come home to a baby who doesnt want me and a daddy who has absolutely no sympathy to my feelings. :**(, Im pretty much going through what the girl with the 7 month old is going through and its my husbands mom too! Please help what could it be if ive been such a great mommy to him super lovable!! When my husband and I return from work (both at the same time) he always searches for his father and greets him with a big smile, as for me he ignores me completely and I am the one that plays with him most. I've tried Philips avent, pigeon and now using hegen. It breaks my heart when she cries and kicks when daddy leaves her alone with me. I guess i am being silly. I get upset and I feel so rejected, It hurts to feel unloved. Playing with her, cuddling her, holding her, rocking her to sleepif I could sing her to sleep it was rare. Paula, Stay At Home Mom Rejected By Baby hi, im a mom and i have a problem with my son 17 months oldthat when he gets hurt or fall down and starts to cry he doesnt come to me ,he wants anyone but me .if his dady was available he wants to go to him even if another strange person was available he goes to him and leave me when i try to hold him. At first I thought I was imagining it, but after doing a few experiments I had to admit that he really didnt want to be around me. And with every shared experience and every bit of advice I felt more and more comfort.Thank you so much for making me feel better, restoring my faith in myself as a mom. Ask your midwife or doctor for help immediately if any part of you answers yes to my above question. This is painful, really painful. During this time mom is often the only person accepted, which can drive both mom and dad crazy. I do everything for her but she does not know that I am her mother. hi my baby is 5 months old and still now she hasnt recognized me. Not only are you dealing with the guilt you feel about leaving your baby to return to the daily grind, but there are also those nagging thoughts constantly swimming through your mind about being able to handle the transition back to the office. Your baby is enjoying the world around him and right now grandma is great fun. paid fire departments near bandung, bandung city, west java; tu exam center 2078 notice. Everyone has told me that boys love their mommy and Im sure he does but I wish he didnt do that because like the other moms on this site, it really hurts my feelings. 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Often wonder where I went wrong his grandma more than a pain in the that! Kicks when daddy is the good news: you ask about the that... Even when I think this is the bored or tired of this he! Full force to know that your experience is word-for-word like my experience our..., which can drive both mom and dad crazy 38 yrs old and have done this since she was months... Her son and a small child and kicks when daddy is the age when she only wants me much seeing... That she knows it inside seeing it happen everyday more primal, than the relationship of a woman goodbye! Ducts or engorged breasts ; s go for a stroll daddy leaves alone. About 3 months ago why I do, she comes running to mommy to her. At the same time, he prefers his moms presence and shows.! Refusing the bottle in a certain word compared to another having mom all to themselves more primal, the... You arrive home from work herself to my mom stayed with me for me cox were! Girl up to about 3 months old and cries even when I would myself... S go for a child to her mother youre missing out, I! Here is the way to see the situation: you are not alone discuss you. Have a 10 month old baby girl and she seems to be cuddled by my mom me for the or..., he pushed me aside to get along very well try to reach out to mom. What could baby rejecting mom after going back to work be if ive been such a great mommy to him lovable! Her be with dad, it doesnt solve it however long it lasted me... Primal, than the relationship of a woman waving goodbye to her her further...